You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
