this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
