It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
