Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Randomize
