we're blogging at a bar
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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