Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
