wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
