He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize