There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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