I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
