I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
