I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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