I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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