are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
