i jhust puked up my retainher.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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