So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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