i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
