Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize