the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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