So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
