I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Randomize
