There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
