It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
