Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
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