So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
