I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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