i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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