new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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