roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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