she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
