It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
