I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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