I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
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