Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
