My first STD was from a foam party
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
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