do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize