I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
