Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
You made out with two different species that night
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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