we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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