it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
my penis made a compromise with my morals
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
