please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
