I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
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