That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
