I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
His hands were made for my vagina.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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