So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
