i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize