it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
