Buhtt sex?
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Cover your peen. We're going out.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
