they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
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