I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
