it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
