I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
There are leaves in my underwear?
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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