Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
