You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
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