so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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