she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
