Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Randomize
