just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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