DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
