I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
