dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
