i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
