i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
