I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
There are leaves in my underwear?
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
