Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
