I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
