I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
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