everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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