She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
