yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
