my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
You know, be my cock's hype man.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
