i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize